[simpits-chat] OT Sad but funny story

[Ben JONES]

He gave his now ex-wife just 3 days to move out.

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and
suitcases.

On the second day, she had movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful
dining-room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and
feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of
Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a
few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the
curtain rods.  She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the
first few days.  Then slowly, the house began to smell.  They tried
everything; cleaning & mopping and airing the place out.  Vents were
checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.  Air
fresheners were hung everywhere.

Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which
they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to
replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked.  People stopped coming over to visit...repairmen refused
to work in the house...the maid quit...finally, they could not take the
stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could
not find a buyer for their stinky house.  Word got out, and eventually,
even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to
purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going.  He told
her the saga of the rotting house.  She listened politely, and said that
she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her
divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back...

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the small was, he agreed on a
price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth...but only
if she were to sign the papers that very day.  She agreed, and within
the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later, the man and h is new girlfriend stood smirking as they
watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new
home...including the curtain rods.
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