[simpits-chat] Friday Relief...

[Roy Coates]

Subject: Creative Signs


On a Septic Tank Truck sign:
  "We're #1 in the #2 business."
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Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
  "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
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         At a Proctologist's door
    "To expedite your visit please back in."
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   On a Plumber's truck:
    "We repair what your husband fixed."
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    On a Plumber's truck:
   "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
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            Pizza Shop Slogan:
   "7 days without pizza makes one weak."
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    At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
        "Invite us to your next blowout."
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   On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:
"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
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         At a Towing company:
   "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
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       On an Electrician's truck:
      "Let us remove your shorts."
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       In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take
appropriate action."
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On a Maternity Room door:
      "Push. Push. Push."
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          At an Optometrist's Office
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the  right
place."
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     On a Taxidermist's window:
      "We really know our stuff."
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        In a Podiatrist's office:
         "Time wounds all heels."
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               On a Fence:
       "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."
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At a Car Dealership:
    "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
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                      Outside a Muffler Shop:
   "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
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    In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
     "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
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                   At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
             However, if you don't, you will be."
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                     In a Restaurant window:
   "Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."
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      In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
                   "Drive carefully. We'll wait."
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  At a Propane Filling Station,
              "Tank heaven for little grills."
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          And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop:
                            "Best place in town to take a leak."