[simpits-tech] (no subject)

[Jim Beauchamp]

I was a supervisor on the C-141 flight simulator at McGuire AFB in New Jersey during the end of the "Model Board" visual system at Altus AFB.  We flew out to Altus for a three week training course on the Novaview computer generated Night Only visual system that replaced the Model board.  While I was there, I was told, by the guys that were involved, a wildly cool story.  This ain't no excrement.
 
Altus, being in Oklahoma, has quite hot weather during the summer months, and has tarantulas all over the place.  At the time, the shop operated 6 or 8 simulators, a mix of C-141 and C-5 simulators, that were there at the time.  One of the guys there told me this story, and gave it as a first hand account, his being there at the time.  One of the guys in the shop caught a tarantula, brought it inside in a dixie cup, and pinned it to the model board, just off the edge of the runway.  During the flight training mission, the pilots had been above 10K feet in the flight levels, for about 1 1/2 half hours, so the model board was not being used.  
 
Now, let me explain how the model board worked.  The whole model was hung on a wall (parallel to that wall) rather than being flat.  There was a huge bank of lights about ten feet away, with a very high color temperature.  The camera probe was some what strange looking, as the camera normally pointed straight at the board, and a mirror was used to point the camera with the orientation of the aircraft.  The camera had several, very hot lights, I am not sure what kind, halogen I think, anyway they were VERY HOT.
 
So, what happened with the spider is this:
 
The pilots had just made the radio call establishing an "in flight emergency".  During training, this was a very common situation that the pilots were put through, as they are being trained on how to continue to fly the aircraft with various malfunctions.  For example, if an engine is out, you need to be carrying a lot more velocity on approach, in case you are waved off or have to make a go around.  The controller (an enlisted guy) responded that there was an obstruction on the runway, and instructed the crew to continue the approach, but to be ready to abort their approach at a moments notice.  Now, that is something that is fairly bad to have to do from an in flight emergency (They may have had an engine out or something like that).  The spider, mean while, had been stuck on the board just off of the approach end of the runway, so the pilots would be landing on the runway next to this spider.  
 
Now, something else you must understand about this model board.  It used a scale of 500:1.  With that scale, a spider that is 3.5 inches across, including the legs and all, appears to be one hundred and forty five feet across.  
 
Also, there is something you must keep in mind.  When flying an Air Force flight simulator, the experience is real enough that, after an hour or so, you tend to forget that you are in a simulator, and begin thinking that you are in the real aircraft.  Those simulators really were that high of a fidelity.

So, here come our pilots.  The radio call from approach control was made that the "obstruction" had been cleared, and that they had clearance to land.  Now, in a model board visual system, there is something called a fog box.  It was frosted glass that encircled the camera probe.  As they began breaking through the "clouds" (the fog box) the runway began to come into sight and  here was this hundred and fifty foot spider sitting on the side of the runway.  The spider did not appreciate those hot lights on the camera probe as they approached him, so he started pawing at the probe.  To the pilots, this looked as if some hairy giant spider was attacking their aircraft.
 
The enlisted guys had the audio set so that everyone could hear the intercom communications emanating from the cockpit.  The entire simulator shop (and this was a HUGE simulator shop) was standing, watching the monitor of the pilots external view, and hearing every word said in the cockpit.  The student pilots, forgetting that they were in a simulator (Yes, they were that realistic, and after flying for a couple of hours, one tended to forget that it was just a simulator) began saying things that I dare not post on this forum.  Needless to say, it began with the phrase "What the *(^& is that?".  They started very frantic conversation that it was not safe to land there, followed by the yelling "No #U(&ing way am I going to land there."  The intensity grew, and the instructor pilots began ordering his students to "Land this aircraft NOW".  It all became quite frantic with voices raised.  They continued the approach, but as soon as their wheels were down, and I mean AS SOON AS THEY HAD WEIGHT ON WHEELS, that is, without any rollout what so ever, they immediately made a 45 degree turn towards the hangers, cutting across the grass and heading straight for the hanger.  Forgetting the soft ground, forgetting the runway lights, all they wanted was to get away from that monster.
 
(I must add, the instructor pilot was in on the game, as the guys got his permission before they did anything like that.)
 
The only thing about it (and as we said in the military, "This tale ain't no S*!7");  I wish I had been there when it happened.
 
Jim Beauchamp
 
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