[simpits-tech] OT - Interesting Day

[Roy Coates]

On Fri, 4 Jun 2004 RickInNoCal at aol.com wrote:


ok, now stop it. Its silly.

Nobody like a good joke more than I do, well, except for my wife ... etc
etc





> The Players: Michael Palin - First Yorkshireman;
> Graham Chapman - Second Yorkshireman;
> Terry Jones - Third Yorkshireman;
> Eric Idle - Fourth Yorkshireman;
>
> The Scene: Four well-dressed men are sitting together at a vacation resor=
t.
> 'Farewell to Thee' is played in the background on Hawaiian guitar.
>
> FIRST YORKSHIREMAN: Aye, very passable, that, very passable bit of risott=
o.
> SECOND YORKSHIREMAN: Nothing like a good glass of Ch=E2teau de Chasselas,=
 eh,
> Josiah?
> THIRD YORKSHIREMAN: You're right there, Obadiah.
> FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN: Who'd have thought thirty year ago we'd all be sitti=
n'
> here drinking Ch=E2teau de Chasselas, eh?
> FIRST YORKSHIREMAN: In them days we was glad to have the price of a cup o=
'
> tea.
> SECOND YORKSHIREMAN: A cup o' cold tea.
> FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN: Without milk or sugar.
> THIRD YORKSHIREMAN: Or tea.
> FIRST YORKSHIREMAN: In a cracked cup, an' all.
> FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN: Oh, we never had a cup. We used to have to drink out=
 of
> a rolled up newspaper.
> SECOND YORKSHIREMAN: The best we could manage was to suck on a piece of d=
amp
> cloth.
> THIRD YORKSHIREMAN: But you know, we were happy in those days, though we =
were
> poor.
> FIRST YORKSHIREMAN: Because we were poor. My old Dad used to say to me,
> "Money doesn't buy you happiness, son".
> FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN: Aye, 'e was right.
> FIRST YORKSHIREMAN: Aye, 'e was.
> FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN: I was happier then and I had nothin'. We used to liv=
e in
> this tiny old house with great big holes in the roof.
> SECOND YORKSHIREMAN: House! You were lucky to live in a house! We used to
> live in one room, all twenty-six of us, no furniture, 'alf the floor was =
missing,
> and we were all 'uddled together in one corner for fear of falling.
> THIRD YORKSHIREMAN: Eh, you were lucky to have a room! We used to have to
> live in t' corridor!
> FIRST YORKSHIREMAN: Oh, we used to dream of livin' in a corridor! Would h=
a'
> been a palace to us. We used to live in an old water tank on a rubbish ti=
p. We
> got woke up every morning by having a load of rotting fish dumped all ove=
r us!
> House? Huh.
> FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN: Well, when I say 'house' it was only a hole in the
> ground covered by a sheet of tarpaulin, but it was a house to us.
> SECOND YORKSHIREMAN: We were evicted from our 'ole in the ground; we 'ad =
to
> go and live in a lake.
> THIRD YORKSHIREMAN: You were lucky to have a lake! There were a hundred a=
nd
> fifty of us living in t' shoebox in t' middle o' road.
> FIRST YORKSHIREMAN: Cardboard box?
> THIRD YORKSHIREMAN: Aye.
> FIRST YORKSHIREMAN: You were lucky. We lived for three months in a paper =
bag
> in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six in the morning, clean =
the
> paper bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down t' mill, fourteen =
hours
> a day, week-in week-out, for sixpence a week, and when we got home our Da=
d
> would thrash us to sleep wi' his belt.
> SECOND YORKSHIREMAN: Luxury. We used to have to get out of the lake at si=
x
> o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of 'ot gravel, work=
 twenty
> hour day at mill for tuppence a month, come home, and Dad would thrash us=
 to
> sleep with a broken bottle, if we were lucky!
> THIRD YORKSHIREMAN: Well, of course, we had it tough. We used to 'ave to =
get
> up out of shoebox at twelve o'clock at night and lick road clean wit' ton=
gue.
> We had two bits of cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at mill fo=
r
> sixpence every four years, and when we got home our Dad would slice us in=
 two
> wit' bread knife.
> FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN: Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock=
 at
> night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, w=
ork
> twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to c=
ome to
> work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and danc=
e
> about on our graves singing Hallelujah.
> FIRST YORKSHIREMAN: And you try and tell the young people of today that .=
=2E...
> they won't believe you.
> ALL: They won't!
>
>