[simpits-tech] F-16 Warranty Form

[Ed Henderson]

Registration Card 

Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order
to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out
the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is
not required, but the information will help us to develop new products
that best meet your needs and desires. 

1. [_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Miss [_] Lt. [_] Gen. [_]Comrade [_]
Classified [_] Presidente [_] Other 

First Name: ..................................................... 
Initial: ........ 
Last Name: ...................................................... 
Password: .............................. (max 8 char) 
Code Name: ...................................................... 
Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ........... ........... .......... 

2. Which model aircraft did you purchase? 

[_] F-14 Tomcat 
[_] F-15 Eagle 
[_] F-16 Falcon 
[_] F-117A Stealth 
[_] F/A-18 Hornet
[_] Classified 

3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day):  ....... / ....... /...... 

4. Serial Number: ................................................ 

5. Please check where this product was purchased: 

[_] Received as gift / aid package 
[_] Catalog showroom 
[_] Independent arms broker 
[_] Mail order 
[_] Discount store 
[_] Government surplus 
[_] Classified 

6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product
you have just purchased: 

[_] Heard loud noise, looked up 
[_] Store display 
[_] Espionage 
[_] Recommended by friend / relative / all 
[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer 
[_] Was attacked by one 

7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision
to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product: 

[_] Style / appearance 
[_] Speed / maneuverability 
[_] Price / value 
[_] Comfort / convenience 
[_] Kickback / bribe 
[_] Recommended by salesperson 
[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation 
[_] Advanced Weapons Systems 
[_] Backroom politics 
[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat 

8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used: 

[_] North America 
[_] Iraq 
[_] Central / South America 
[_] Iraq 
[_] Aircraft carrier 
[_] Iraq 
[_] Europe 
[_] Iraq 
[_] Middle East (not Iraq) 
[_] Iraq 
[_] Africa 
[_] Iraq 
[_] Asia / Far East 
[_] Iraq 
[_] Misc. Third World countries 
[_] Iraq 
[_] Classified 
[_] Iraq 

9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to
purchase in the near future: 

[_] Color TV 
[_] VCR 
[_] ICBM 
[_] Killer Satellite 
[_] CD Player 
[_] Air-to-Air Missiles 
[_] Space Shuttle 
[_] Home Computer 
[_] Nuclear Weapon 

10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Check all
that apply:) 

[_] Communist / Socialist 
[_] Terrorist 
[_] Crazed 
[_] Neutral 
[_] Democratic 
[_] Dictatorship 
[_] Corrupt 
[_] Primitive / Tribal 

11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product? 

[_] Deficit spending 
[_] Cash 
[_] Suitcases of cocaine 
[_] Oil revenues 
[_] Personal check 
[_] Credit card 
[_] Ransom money 
[_] Traveler's check 

12. Your occupation: 

[_] Homemaker 
[_] Sales / marketing 
[_] Revolutionary 
[_] Clerical 
[_] Mercenary 
[_] Tyrant 
[_] Middle management 
[_] Eccentric billionaire 
[_] Defense Minister / General 
[_] Retired 
[_] Student 

13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate the
interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy
participating on a regular basis: 

[_] Golf 
[_] Boating / sailing 
[_] Sabotage 
[_] Running / jogging 
[_] Propaganda / misinformation 
[_] Destabilization / overthrow 
[_] Default on loans 
[_] Gardening 
[_] Crafts 
[_] Black market / smuggling 
[_] Collectibles / collections 
[_] Watching sports on TV 
[_] Wines 
[_] Interrogation / torture 
[_] Household pets 
[_] Crushing rebellions 
[_] Espionage / reconnaissance 
[_] Fashion clothing 
[_] Border disputes 
[_] Mutually Assured Destruction 

Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your
answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas
serve you better in the future as well as allowing you to receive
mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist
groups, and mysterious consortia. 

As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win
a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes! 

Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to: 

McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION 
Marketing Department 
Military Aerospace Division 
P.O. Box 800, St. Louis, MO


Roy Coates wrote:
> 
> Does anyone have a copy of that spoof F-16 warranty form?
> 
> Need a copy pronto!
> 
> tia,
> 
> --
> 
> Roy.
> 
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