From hangr18 at hotmail.com Fri Jan 2 21:07:19 2004 From: hangr18 at hotmail.com (Brian Sikkema) Date: Fri Jan 2 18:07:46 2004 Subject: [simpits-chat] I think I might be bored... Message-ID: A friend of mine mentioned in her blog that "this is a fucking nut house." I replied that, no, THIS is a fucking nut house... What do you think? Too much spare time on my hands? Time for me to go back to school? :D Brian -------------- next part -------------- An HTML attachment was scrubbed... URL: http://www.simpits.org/pipermail/simpits-chat/attachments/20040102/baf4ede9/attachment.html From bjones at pipecomp.com.au Fri Jan 9 16:54:51 2004 From: bjones at pipecomp.com.au (Ben Jones) Date: Fri Jan 9 00:55:58 2004 Subject: [simpits-chat] Unclassified. Air humour Message-ID: <008301c3d68e$3f704bd0$4600640a@desktop> Subject: SEC: Unclassified. Air humour > > > In his book, Sled Driver, SR-71 Blackbird pilot Brian Shul writes: "I'll > > always remember a certain radio exchange that occurred one day as Walt (my > > backseater) and I were screaming across Southern California 13 miles high. > > We were monitoring various radio transmissions from other aircraft as we > > entered Los Angeles airspace. Though they didn't really control us, they > > did monitor our movement across their scope. > > I heard a Cessna ask for a readout of its groundspeed." "90 knots" Center > > replied. > > Moments later, a Twin Beech required the same. "120 knots," Center > > answered. > > We weren't the only ones proud of our groundspeed that day as almost > > instantly an F-18 smugly transmitted, 'Ah, Center, Dusty 52 requests > > groundspeed readout.' There was a slight pause, then the response, "525 > > knots on the ground, Dusty." > > Another silent pause. As I was thinking to myself how ripe a situation > > this > > was, I heard a familiar click of a radio transmission coming from my > > backseater. It was at that precise moment I realized Walt and I had become > > a real crew, for we were both thinking in unison." "Center, Aspen 20, you > > got a groundspeed readout for us?" There was a longer than normal pause > > .... "Aspen, I show 1,742 knots" > > > > No further inquiries were heard on that frequency. > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > In another famous SR-71 story, Los Angeles Center reported receiving a > > request for clearance to FL 60 (60,000ft). The incredulous controller, > > with > > some disdain in his voice, asked, "How do you plan to get up to 60,000 > > feet? The pilot (obviously a sled driver), responded, "We don't plan to go > > up to it, we plan to go down to it." He was cleared. > > ------------------------------------- > > The pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38 revolver. He placed > > it on top of the instrument panel, and then asked the navigator, "Do you > > know what I use this for?" > > The navigator replied timidly, "No, what's it for?" > > The pilot responded, "I use this on navigators who get me lost!" > > The navigator proceeded to pull out a .45 and place it on his chart table. > > The pilot asked, "What's that for?" > > "To be honest sir," the navigator replied, "I'll know we're lost before > > you > > will." > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > More tower chatter: > > Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!" > > Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!" > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of > > the runway while a MD80 landed. The MD80 landed, rolled out, turned > > around, > > and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the MD80 > > crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it > > all by yourself?" > > Our hero the Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back > > with: "I made it out of MD80 parts. Another landing like that and I'll > > have > > enough parts for another one." > > ----------------------------------------------------------------------- > > There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing > > because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked." > > Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two behind a > > B-52 that had one engine shut down. > > "Ah," the pilot remarked, "the dreaded seven-engine approach." > > ----------------------------------------------------------------------- > > A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting > > to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known > > position?" > > Student: "When I was number one for takeoff." > > ----------------------------------------------------------------------- > > Taxiing down the tarmac, the 757 abruptly stopped, turned around and > > returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. > > A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" > > "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the > > flight attendant," and it took us a while to find a new pilot." > > ----------------------------------------------------------------------- > > "Flight 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees." > > "But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" > > "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?" > > > > > From roy at flightlab.liv.ac.uk Fri Jan 9 10:05:12 2004 From: roy at flightlab.liv.ac.uk (Roy Coates) Date: Fri Jan 9 01:40:13 2004 Subject: [simpits-chat] Unclassified. Air humour In-Reply-To: <008301c3d68e$3f704bd0$4600640a@desktop> Message-ID: nice one Ben - a good start to my day :) Roy. From jmiguez at bellsouth.net Fri Jan 9 06:31:28 2004 From: jmiguez at bellsouth.net (John Miguez) Date: Fri Jan 9 04:31:41 2004 Subject: [simpits-chat] Unclassified. Air humour In-Reply-To: Message-ID: <001501c3d6ac$812b1870$6401a8c0@p4> I agree some of those were funny. I have one to add that I heard years ago. This would have been in the early eighties about the time female pilots were first coming into the military services. It was common practice to use the term "Popeye" when you were flying in clouds and Center advised you on traffic. It was a quick way of saving. "I am in the clouds and can't see." Well, this guy was told by Center of on-coming traffic and responded that he was "Popeye." Immediately this female voice came back. "This is Olive Oyl and I have been looking for you." John -----Original Message----- From: simpits-chat-bounces@simpits.org [mailto:simpits-chat-bounces@simpits.org] On Behalf Of Roy Coates Sent: Friday, January 09, 2004 4:05 AM To: Non-tech or other tech related messages for Simpits Subject: Re: [simpits-chat] Unclassified. Air humour nice one Ben - a good start to my day :) Roy. _______________________________________________ simpits-chat mailing list simpits-chat@simpits.org http://www.simpits.org/mailman/listinfo/simpits-chat From stig.joergensen at clearsky.dk Fri Jan 9 16:03:24 2004 From: stig.joergensen at clearsky.dk (=?iso-8859-1?Q?Stig_J=F8rgensen?=) Date: Fri Jan 9 07:03:30 2004 Subject: [simpits-chat] Unclassified. Air humour Message-ID: That's gold..... :-) /Stig -----Original Message----- From: simpits-chat-bounces@simpits.org [mailto:simpits-chat-bounces@simpits.org] On Behalf Of Ben Jones Sent: 9. januar 2004 09:55 To: Simpits-Chat Post Message; Jeff weihs; Dad; AL Y Subject: [simpits-chat] Unclassified. Air humour Subject: SEC: Unclassified. Air humour > > > In his book, Sled Driver, SR-71 Blackbird pilot Brian Shul writes: "I'll > > always remember a certain radio exchange that occurred one day as Walt (my > > backseater) and I were screaming across Southern California 13 miles high. > > We were monitoring various radio transmissions from other aircraft as we > > entered Los Angeles airspace. Though they didn't really control us, they > > did monitor our movement across their scope. > > I heard a Cessna ask for a readout of its groundspeed." "90 knots" Center > > replied. > > Moments later, a Twin Beech required the same. "120 knots," Center > > answered. > > We weren't the only ones proud of our groundspeed that day as almost > > instantly an F-18 smugly transmitted, 'Ah, Center, Dusty 52 requests > > groundspeed readout.' There was a slight pause, then the response, "525 > > knots on the ground, Dusty." > > Another silent pause. As I was thinking to myself how ripe a situation > > this > > was, I heard a familiar click of a radio transmission coming from my > > backseater. It was at that precise moment I realized Walt and I had become > > a real crew, for we were both thinking in unison." "Center, Aspen 20, you > > got a groundspeed readout for us?" There was a longer than normal pause > > .... "Aspen, I show 1,742 knots" > > > > No further inquiries were heard on that frequency. > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > In another famous SR-71 story, Los Angeles Center reported receiving a > > request for clearance to FL 60 (60,000ft). The incredulous controller, > > with > > some disdain in his voice, asked, "How do you plan to get up to 60,000 > > feet? The pilot (obviously a sled driver), responded, "We don't plan to go > > up to it, we plan to go down to it." He was cleared. > > ------------------------------------- > > The pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38 revolver. He placed > > it on top of the instrument panel, and then asked the navigator, "Do you > > know what I use this for?" > > The navigator replied timidly, "No, what's it for?" > > The pilot responded, "I use this on navigators who get me lost!" > > The navigator proceeded to pull out a .45 and place it on his chart table. > > The pilot asked, "What's that for?" > > "To be honest sir," the navigator replied, "I'll know we're lost before > > you > > will." > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > More tower chatter: > > Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!" > > Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!" > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of > > the runway while a MD80 landed. The MD80 landed, rolled out, turned > > around, > > and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the MD80 > > crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it > > all by yourself?" > > Our hero the Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back > > with: "I made it out of MD80 parts. Another landing like that and I'll > > have > > enough parts for another one." > > ----------------------------------------------------------------------- > > There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing > > because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked." > > Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two behind a > > B-52 that had one engine shut down. > > "Ah," the pilot remarked, "the dreaded seven-engine approach." > > ----------------------------------------------------------------------- > > A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting > > to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known > > position?" > > Student: "When I was number one for takeoff." > > ----------------------------------------------------------------------- > > Taxiing down the tarmac, the 757 abruptly stopped, turned around and > > returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. > > A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" > > "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the > > flight attendant," and it took us a while to find a new pilot." > > ----------------------------------------------------------------------- > > "Flight 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees." > > "But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" > > "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?" > > > > > _______________________________________________ simpits-chat mailing list simpits-chat@simpits.org http://www.simpits.org/mailman/listinfo/simpits-chat From bjones at pipecomp.com.au Mon Jan 12 17:06:03 2004 From: bjones at pipecomp.com.au (Ben Jones) Date: Mon Jan 12 01:07:05 2004 Subject: [simpits-chat] Unclassified. Air humour References: Message-ID: <002201c3d8eb$4f068f50$4600640a@desktop> No worries ....... better to post a joke than flame people ..... 8-) hehe ben bjones@pipecomp.com.au ----- Original Message ----- From: "Roy Coates" Subject: Re: [simpits-chat] Unclassified. Air humour > > > nice one Ben - a good start to my day :) > > Roy. From geneb at deltasoft.com Tue Jan 13 18:52:48 2004 From: geneb at deltasoft.com (Gene Buckle) Date: Tue Jan 13 18:43:17 2004 Subject: [simpits-chat] A4 and A7 for sale... Message-ID: Ok folks, got some goodies for you. A friend of mine is selling an A7 cockpit section and an A4 cockpit section. Both are fairly complete. The A7 can be seen here: http://www.simpits.org/~geneb/a7/a7.html The A4 can be seen here: http://www.simpits.org/~geneb/a4/index.html If you're interested, let me know and I'll forward his email address to you. Thanks! g.