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<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2>My brother sent this to me, thought it was pretty
funny.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2>(Also, I'm hiding in the IRC right now, looking for
more distraction from homework. Anyone up to the task? ;)</FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2>Brian</FONT></DIV>
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<DIV>Subject: No Nursing Home For Me<BR><BR>With the average cost for a
Nursing Home per day reaching $188.00, there is a better way when we get old
& feeble. I have already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn
for a combined long term stay discount and senior discount of $49.23 per
night. That leaves $138.77 a day for:<BR></DIV>
<DIV>Breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant I want, or room service.
Laundry, gratuities and special TV movies.<BR></DIV>
<DIV>Plus, they provide a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer,
dryer, vending machines, etc. Most have free toothpaste, razors, all have free
shampoo and soap. They treat you like a customer, not a patient. $5 worth of
tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling to help you. There is city
Bus stop out front, and seniors ride free. The Handicap bus will also pick you
up (if you fake a decent limp). To meet other nice people, call a Church bus
on Sundays. For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at
one of the nice restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly somewhere.
Otherwise the cash keeps building up. It takes months to get into decent
nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today. And - you are not
stuck in one place forever, you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to
city. Want to see Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there too. TV broken? Light
bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem! They
fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience. The Inn has a night
security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are ok.
If not, they will call an ambulance or the undertaker. If you fall and break a
hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a
suite for the rest of your life. And no worries about visits from family. They
will always be glad to visit you, and probably check in for a few days
mini-vacation. What more can you ask for?<BR></DIV>
<DIV>So: When I reach the Golden age I'll face it with a grin. Just forward
all my email to: <A
href="mailto:me@HolidayInn">me@HolidayInn</A>!<BR></DIV></BLOCKQUOTE></BODY></HTML>